Oh, What A Spectacle!

New Tattoo

In recent past I have been through a lot of things. These things have not just affected me alone, they have also affected my love , bestest friend and life long companion Jimmy (my husband) and my best friend Jeremy whom I also love. My emotions and heart have been all over the place between the two. So much so I for a slight moment considered ending it all, throwing in the towel so to speak. I have kids who need me and a husband who loves me unconditionally and a friend who would have blamed himself. That in the end would have been worse, then living with hurt and longing for what in not rightly mine to have.

During these past few weeks, all three of us have been through a lot with this and  I can only take the blame. No I am not looking to be a martyr for love and friendship. I know what I have done, and accept what will be my fate in the end.

When I originally contacted my artist about this piece, it was during a time when emotions were high. Feelings were hurt and all three of us were rash and harsh in words. Jeremy and I were not talking. Jimmy and I were barely talking.  It was a rough weekend that left pieces missing and feelings hurt. We all made the best of a bad situation and healed most of our wounds by the end.

(Lotus) I have learned to accept who I am as a person, how my heart and mind were created. I have come from a low and dark place and am blossoming. I have had help with all these things. In life I have love and friendship(geranium covers both). Jimmy is both my love and my greatest friend and with Jeremy the lines were blurred. I can't take any of these things back, I can only grow from it all.  In my life I have relationships, I am a wife, a lover, a mother and a friend. (cuckoo flower) These relationships need to be fertilized so to speak, cared for and nurtured so that they may grow and become a beautiful thing. For all this to work their needs to be truthfulness and respect (jasmine). Nothing grows wells with lies and deception.

So these tattoo is for both Jimmy and Jeremy...as a reminder of what has all happened. I only ask for forgiveness and understanding.

 

Much Love and Respect,

Anita Ann

Breaking Free and Being At Peace

  My newest tattoo is now finished. It symbolizes more than I can convey about my life. For 34 years I have been afraid of who I am deep inside. Although, I am not ready to shout certain things from roof tops or pay a million dollars for a Super Bowl  ad to say it all, I am no longer afraid. I have peace (dove with olive branch) and I am shattering the windows I have been looking through (stained glass peices).  I am free to be who I am and am soaring (the clouds).

In my life I have few people who know a lot if intimate details of my life. My husband is my best supporter and encourager. If it was not for him I would just be so lost. In some aspects I was a lost soul searching for someone just as lost when I found him. Although, we were lost in different areas of our lives at the time, I think God brought us together. It may not have been the best situation when we first met. He was married and had a child. We were long time friends before we ever really committed (me moving to North Carolina with him.).

My husband encourages me not to be afraid of who I am. He tells me that I am a perfect me.  What else could a girl want from a man? He cares for me, worries for me and at times gets mad at me. We have had our hard time and we have had great times. He encourages me with peace and understanding. I have to say he is the one true blessing in my life.
One tidbit about me:  When Jimmy and I first became friends and lovers I tried pushing him away. I was afraid that nobody could really love me.

 

Peace and Love,

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