Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say. That in itself is funny because I have busy brain, really this thing does not stop. Mid conversation about grocery shopping and I am thinking about a million other things and feelings. Not sure if that makes sense to other people but, that is how I function.
Lately, I have been thinking about my death and my husbands death. I know not ideal for a 35 year old. But, that is some of what is on my mind. If I die before my husband what will he do? Who will he be with? Will she be nice to my kids? Basically, he would need someone. We had this talk while I was in the shower. He kind of chuckles because he knows something is always on my mind. I gave him a short list of ladies I think he would pair up nice with and that I think the kids would like. I know it's weird. It's also more likely he would pass first.
We still need life insurance because part of the plan (if we still have kids in the home) is travel. Take the kids at home around the country or continent. Let them see things and experience more than what is in our reach. Then I started thinking, because I always think, why should we wait? Really is there a good reason we should wait for one of us to die? Plus, I get tired driving, I would need a driver....a manly driver because woman make me crazy. So I think we need to travel more. Go somewhere more than two hours away. I want my kids to see the Redwoods, the Grand Canyon and Mt. Rushmore. I want my kids to learn young to live and enjoy life. Enjoy the people you love and the people who love you. Sometimes, those people are not the same.
Back to the death conversation, my husband does not want me to remain "single and alone". That was nice to hear and he only threw out one name. Sadly, it wasn't Mark Harmon (he's married).But, I know in reality that is not how it works but, it was a nice conversation. Also, cremation is in both of our futures. Morbid maybe, but it makes me happy getting it out.
I have been watching a show called "Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition". It has inspired me. Now I need to start back up walking. A friend of mine has been walking and even though we can't walk together maybe we can motivate each other. Like walking buddies who encourage each other. I am down six pounds, probably from being six. And let me get it out I was 249lbs now I am 243 lbs. That is insane for someone has short as I am. Bleh! So I need to get down 120lbs to me in my "target" weight range! At some point I know I will need to step it up past walking and bike riding. For now...this is what I got. Either that or the cumulus cloud that inhabits the front of my body will take over.
Love and Busy Brain,
Button
God we are so much alike. My brain never stops either. My mind is always working in 18 different directions and those are only the ones I can keep track of at any given moment.
You are right about the walking. I'm taking the kids to the YMCA on Monday and starting the treadmill.
Also, you weren't being morbid, you were being practical. It's a good thing!
Posted by: Me | 06/17/2011 at 02:58 PM