Boys as Friends (or men now): JRJ

I was reading a blog post this week. This particular post got me thinking about friendships I have had over the years. Most of my best friends have been boys who are now men. In third grade is when I made my very best friend.  JRJ was a really nice kid. He was kind of chubby, always laughing. He had a mullet of thick blond hair and wore wrestling pants a la Hulk Holgan. He made my mornings bright by waiting at my gate for me to walk to the bus-stop all the way even into high school. While we rarely had classes together or hung out at school we were close. We both came from dysfunctional families and lived at opposite ends of our street. If there was yelling, crying, things being thrown or cops it was one of our houses.

We were both very protective of each other, in so many ways. He was like a brother to me in many ways. We supported each other and had lots of laughs and knowing looks. Once at a youth group skate night he skated a couples skate. It felt safe holding his hand because, I knew he was my friend.

After high school I was preparing to go into the Marines. After some time on my own (since the end of my senior year) I decided to spend time at my moms. She was gone a lot of weekends in Las Vegas to see my step-dad, so I was home alone a lot. JRJ and I spent a lot of time together having parties or visiting. The last time I saw him before bootcamp he gave me a silver band to remember him buy. I don't know why but, in that moment it felt like it was goodbye forever. I was sad and my heart ached a bit.

I did however regain contact after I was came home from the Marines. I broke the rule of rules and dated his male best friend. Not only that I moved in with him, moved away with him and let him for a time ruin our friendship. Once that relationship was over JRJ and wrote letters and when he was in Army Bootcamp he sent me a photo of him in his uniform. I got married while living in Texas. Once I moved back to California I saw him a handful of times. He met my husband and my oldest son (they share a birthday). He asked me if I was happy and I said I was. He was happy for me and I was sad he was single. After that I have only heard of how he was doing through his sister and now occasionally his girlfriend. I miss his friendship, his laugh and his long gone mullet.

Love and Friendship,

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Comments

[Me]

I'm sad that you don't have his friendship any longer. I can see that it meant a lot to you. You seem to be very sensible about it -- something I envy.